Astro Forecast 3.21.25: Goodbye, Pisces, and Thanks for All the Fucked Up Fish
Aries season 2025 kicks off like the blast of a shotgun, but it wouldn't have been possible had Pisces not provided the ammo.
What is happening?!
Give yourself a pat on the back if you’re reading this, because it means you’ve made it through the last dark, disturbing chunk of the astrological year to our first moment of seasonal optimism, the Spring Equinox! I’m kidding, of course - the rest of this year will also be disturbing, but going forward, we’ll have more sunlight by which to view the horrors.
If you’ve felt unusually tired, nostalgic, and work-averse over the last month or so, take comfort in the fact that it isn’t just you and no, you are not coming down with mono or bird flu, as disappointing as that may be to R.F.K. and his brain worm. Pisces season fatigued many, and I’m putting it down to Neptune and the bullshit he’s been pulling in the very last degree of his modern temple, where dreams, illusions, obfuscations and blurred boundaries can make practical tasks feel oddly difficult, like we’re swimming upstream just to get the goddamn dishes done and the garbage taken out to the curb. Muddy communication is also a Neptune special, and the dearth of accurate, verifiable information regarding domestic and international goings on has been unsettling, considering the gravity of geo-politics in 2025. Massive protests around the globe and at home receive little to no coverage here in the U.S. - at least, not if you rely on legacy journalism like CNN or The Associated Press, and even when incidents receive coverage, our own ghoulish elected officials have no problem spewing verifiable falsehoods to anyone with a press pass.
The Temple of the Fish might have been a soothing, generous environment for occultists, poets, and liars, but those of us with a more hard-boiled consciousness are rightly fatigued by Pisces’ cloak and dagger shenanigans. For instance, we still don’t know who actually leads DOGE; is it the mediocre bureaucrat who, unbeknownst to her, was publicly anointed as such between salt licks at the gringo bar, or Goofus McChainsaw and his merry band of scrotum-obsessed edge lords? Are we doing this Gilded Age tariff nonsense, or is it another ham-fisted shakedown by the world’s most stable genius? Are we in an economic recession, or was there simply too much ketamine floating around the NYC trading floor last week? And finally, why can’t the criminal at the very top of the American political hierarchy find someone to match and blend his foundation? (Venus is retrograde in Aries, I suppose.)
If you have been longing for clarity, Aries has you covered, because this Mars-ruled sign will gleefully burn off Neptune’s deceptive fog. I’m not going to tell you that the oncoming clarity will be pleasant, but I for one would rather know about the cockroaches in my kitchen than continue cooking in blissful ignorance as they scuttle under the fridge. This winter was our existential way station - a place in between ‘before’ and ‘after’ that gave us a moment of quietude and allowed us to process our shock and disbelief at the forces engineering major paradigm shifts within civic life. Under the influence of Pisces, we soothed ourselves with naps, books, and extra long showers as a way to prepare for the chaos we all suspect is lurking around the corner of the equinox, but time has run out on our little mental getaway. Like a slippery baby exiting the womb, the next twenty-eight or so days will assault us with the bright lights, loud noises, and the chilly oxygen of reality. We will be in the liminal space no more.
Why would this affect me?
Anyone who has felt deficient in vitality and focus can count on an injection of oomph from our re-invigorated sun as he paces the Temple of The Ram, a place where golden Apollo is exalted and empowered. The sun enjoys being in Aries, so he’ll have an easier time illuminating us Earthlings than he did in Pisces, where any clarity he could have provided remained hidden beneath Neptune’s watery depths. We’ll have more energy than we’ve had in months, and may even run into a neighbor or two as they emerge from their house, blinking confusedly at the sun like mole rats before setting off on one of those oh-crap-it’s-spring-and-people-might-see-my-naked-flesh fitness jags that often possess humans in spring. Mars is a war god, after all, which means he likes us best as lean, mean fighting machines, not pasty, chillaxed blob fish, and fire signs like Aries are often prone to peacocking and athleticism.
Exercise aside, Aries is a masculine sign of initiation and combat, which bodes poorly for anyone envisioning a peaceful, boring spring. The sun is representative of kings and authority figures, so there will likely be an increase in saber-rattling and chest-thumping by various heads of state leading up to next week’s solar eclipse, after which all bets are off. Whether or not these displays of virility lead to active conflict is anybody’s guess, but this astrology is ominously similar to the spring of 1861, which is when all the burners of the American Civil War began to fire in earnest.
We’ll soon have four major celestial bodies, five if you count Chiron, blasting through this astrological den of might and manliness, so be cautious with confrontation over the next week or so and try not to get sucked into polarizing conversations. Mercury and Venus are both retrograde in Aries, which means conversations that begin cordially can veer abruptly toward snappishness if we’re not careful, especially between romantic partners or female siblings. Even die-hard pacifists, monks, and yoga teachers will be feeling reactive and spicy with so many personal planets under Mars’ thumb, and have you ever encountered a pissed-off monk? No one should get their dander up, or anyone’s, really, until the sun slides into steady, unflappable Taurus this April. As a reminder, Mars himself is still stuck in passive-aggressive Cancer, which not only annoys him, but could color any conflicts we encounter with emotional manipulation. (Angry victimhood is a tried and true tactic of water signs.)
Those of us with cardinal rising signs, i.e. Aries, Cancer, Libra, or Capricorn will feel Aries’ martial injection of chutzpah more acutely than the rest of the zodiac, so, fair warning to the remaining signs - do not fuck with these people for the rest of the month. They will want to fight you, and that smoke looks different depending on the person. If you’re acquainted with any Aries people, you know they will pull a hammer out of their purse and chase you with it. A Cancer, on the other hand, will stew on the couch while stabbing a poppet that wears your face, and a Libra will literally split their personality down the middle, make one side a serial killer, and stalk you for months until you tell them you love them. Capricorn will take no action at all, because Capricorn doesn’t need to do anything aside from remain excellent and rack up so many achievements that your ego dies long before your physical body. If you encounter any of the aforementioned signs between now and May, simply offer to buy them a hot herbal tea before backing away slowly with your palms face up. This is the safest approach for everyone involved.
When do I have to deal with this?
The dates for each aspect below encompass all the days that we might feel their effects, not just the perfection of the aspect (for any degree sticklers out there). I am trained in Hellenistic astrology, so I often stick to the three degree rule, i.e., every moment the planets are dancing within three or less degrees of each other will likely be a ‘loud’ moment for the aspect. Sometimes, though, I will incorporate my tarot cards for the week. If the tarot makes it look like we’ll feel an aspect outside of that degree range, I extend the dates. Keep in mind that anything lunar can take the entire cycle to play out, and eclipses themselves affect us for six months to a year…wheeeeeee!
3.17.25 - 3.22.25: Sun Conjunct Neptune in Pisces Allows for a Final Fling in the Land of Empathy, Illusion, and Escapism
Sun in Pisces: Your friend’s ex-CEO dad who left the rat race to wear Crocs, make his own beer, and join Greenpeace
Neptune in Pisces: That same friend’s uncle who was never a CEO, but he convinced himself that he was during an acid trip in the seventies and he isn’t hurting anyone, so why burst his bubble
Like eating a bag of mushrooms in the parking lot before Coachella, when these two get together they make us feel like the most brilliant, artistic souls to ever walk the Earth. Use this aspect to write epic poetry, paint watercolor landscapes, or just get high and watch your talented friends do that stuff. The blinding confidence of the sun and the enhanced artistry of Neptune can be utilized as an ego boost by anyone afraid to take creative leaps of faith, but be cautious; Poseidon’s realm can also makes it easy to ignore our obligations. Read some fantasy, sing, or play the lute to your hearts content, but maybe don’t eat a second bag of mushrooms.
3.19.25 - 3.24.25: Venus Retrograde in Aries Makes a Sextile to Pluto, Brings Out Our Devotion and Nostalgia
Venus in Aries: The only woman on an elite Navy SEAL team who is considered both sexy and frightening by other team members
Pluto in Aquarius: The powerful head of a dark money cabal obsessed with immortality and genetic engineering
A sextile is normally a relaxed, harmonious aspect to experience, but Pluto, that socially awkward mortician of the sky, always manages to make it weird. In this case, his flirtation with our voluptuous lady planet will bring intensity and depth to her areas of rulership, i.e. romance, money, and art. These days are not ideal for casual flirtations or shallow splurges; this is an aspect that will endure over the long haul, which means it is excellent for working on marathon creative projects or securing seed money for a decade-spanning business venture. This is also a good aspect for anyone looking to deepen a romantic relationship, which could mean staying in bed all day, proposing marriage, or locking your chosen subject in a dungeon. No judgement here.
3.21.25 - 3.24.25: Venus Cazimi Ignites Our Artsy Sex Appeal, Confidence, and Sociability
Venus in Aries: The only woman on an elite Navy SEAL team, considered both sexy and frightening by members
Sun in Aries: The only dude on the elite Navy SEAL team who isn’t afraid of Venus in Aries
Venus receives the ultimate illumination and gooses our sense of beauty and sexuality when she makes a conjunction to the sun, which perfects on Saturday, March 22nd. Depending on where this lands in your chart, you can expect to feel extra charismatic and attractive, making this a great moment for a style, sex, relationship, or finance rejuvenation. This is also an auspicious aspect for social justice and feminist issues, so anyone attending a protest or escorting people in and out of abortion clinics will be extra effective; just be careful not to get too zealous or handsy, because Aries loves a fistfight. Tempting as it is, decking the Jesus freaks could land you in county jail - not an ideal situation for the physicality and flirtatiousness of this moment.
3.22.25 - 3.25.25: The Sun Follows Venus’ Footsteps, Makes a Sextile to Pluto, and Gets a Massive, Dangerous Ego Boost
Sun in Aries: The only dude on the elite Navy SEAL team who isn’t afraid of Venus in Aries
Pluto in Aquarius: The powerful head of a dark money cabal obsessed with immortality and genetic engineering
I think we can all see the issue with these two archetypes working together; when that attractive, confident prick Apollo gets an earful of Hades oily schemes, he could turn to the dark side very quickly. Regular, non-megalomaniacs should use these days to accomplish tasks that require gravitas and the persuasion of others, because no one will be able to resist you. This is an awesome set of days for public speaking and earning respect from co-workers and subordinates, so don’t be afraid to take risks at work. Beware of the actual megalomaniacs, heads of state, and billionaires, though - they will be particularly persuasive on these days. Like, Jim Jones persuasive, so if anyone offers you a mystery beverage, take a hard pass.
Looking Ahead…
The much anticipated end of March includes our final solar eclipse in Aries in a series that began a year and a half ago, and Neptune setting fire to the world as we know it when he leaves Pisces, which hasn’t happened in about 165 years. Doesn’t sound ominous at all. In fact, you can get into the spirit of things with this track by Peeping Tom, featuring Aries Norah Jones. It’s sexy and rude, perfectly encapsulating the vibe of Venus in her ‘war goddess’ mode. See? Life is beautiful and dangerous, so we may as well be, too.
Thanks, as always, for the info. Aries quincuxes my Scorpio sun, so I always hate this time frame. My ex turned up last Mercury retro, so at least no chance of that now if he wants to live!
Oh boy 🤣 thank you so much for this gem, read out loud to my husband, both of us howling, really needed that! The world's most stable genius, wow, in the barrage of unbelievably bizarre and outrageous, I totally forgot about this one! Sheesh this is one fucked up timeline, two generations from now (if there's still any humanity left here), no one will believe 2025 was real.