The Sagittarius Lunation: New Moon Horoscopes
Saturn and Mercury are tag teaming our December moons, simultaneously gassing us up and pissing us off. Oh, joy.
Hurry Up and Wait with an Eager, Chaotic Jerk of a Moon
In keeping with 2024’s stated goal of sucking as much unwashed ass as possible, our new moon on December 1st came loaded with contradictions and restrictions. Normally, Luna has no problem in Sagittarius - yes, it’s a fire sign, but any Jupiter-ruled moon normally brings expansion and fortune to humankind’s embodied experience, so what gives? Wherefore art thou such a little bitch, moon?
Malefic planets are often the culprits behind difficult vibes, and this week it is child-eater extraordinaire, Saturn, playing a series of pranks on our otherwise invigorating moon. The great ringed bummer formed a square to Luna as she went dark, and Kronos continues to sour our outlook by forming another square to the sun on Wednesday, mystically formatting the next thirteen or so days to be a series of exuberant, poorly-timed setbacks. The other guy who can’t control himself right now is Mercury, who continues to gallop backwards in Sagittarius while spitting little fireballs at our computers, flights, calendars, and resistance to booty calls of yore. Mercury and Jupiter have mutual reception at the moment, meaning they are in each other’s preferred domicile. While that would normally offset the worst case scenario of Hermes’ moonwalk, it will be messy this go round because Jupiter ruled this new moon while Saturn squared her, and Jupiter and Saturn do not get along. (Father and son issues…Saturn did technically eat Jupiter as a baby.)
Fire signs crave action, and The Archer is no different. We will desperately wish to expand our reach and explore new initiatives for the first half of this lunation, but we will be prevented from making much progress due to Daddy Saturn and his need to teach us a lesson. No, not in a fun way. The good news is that once our moon is full on December 15th, the gridlock should give way and we’ll be able to actualize the ideas that are lighting our hair on fire. In a mundane sense, Sagittarius season is often the time for procrastination and hiccups, what with halls to deck and feasts to gobble, but our current socio-political landscape seems to be infusing many people with a combination of rage and gloom that is antithetical to both working and partying. Journalist Sarah Kendzior likens this period to a dreadful intermission, one that both bores and spooks us due to the horror show that will restart in January. We don’t want to stay here but we also fear the arrival of our future, and this irritating paradox is reflected in our skies.
Individually, the places where we’ll notice our nervous energy vary by birth chart, and some of you lucky dicks won’t feel a difference at all. Whole sign/house horoscopes are most accurate according to rising sign, but I have personally noticed relevance with both my rising and my sun sign horoscopes, so read through both for the most accurate coverage.
Aries
You are going to want to do ALL the things, Aries, like enrolling in a new study, investigating exotic locales, and taking up more intellectual space at work and in your social life. Unfortunately, Saturn wants to make super-duper sure that you know how much work such newfound joire de vivre requires, and he’ll do that by hitting you with the word “no” as often as possible. Saturn needs you to focus, dear Ram. It may be that an unforeseen emergency empties your travel fund, or that you don’t meet certain scholastic requirements to become credentialed in a discipline, but something that initially seemed cut and dry will require more labor and tenacity than you assumed. No matter the zest, planning, or rage with which you are infused, the lead up to December 15th will be a series of steps forward and backward, like the cha-cha. Except less groovy. So what to do? Muddle through, of course, while picking at the low hanging fruit first. Books are free to read at the library, and never forget that planning for a trip can be just as exciting as the actual trip, so don’t do your usual thing of abandoning goals at the first sign of difficulty.
Taurus
The eighth house is not a place you love, Taurus, because it is the polar opposite of your comfort zone, and unfortunately, this is where much new moon frustration will sit until about mid-December. Anything involving the pooling of funds or professional partnering could slow down or encounter obstacles, so if you are looking to start a business with a partner or loved one, there could be far more hiccups than expected. Shared money is a big theme of the eighth, as is unexpected money loss or gain that serves as karmic re-balance. The eighth house also has major crossover with Scorpio, and that creepy water sign is very good at keeping secrets and holding grudges. This means that unexpected ‘payback’ could bite you in both the ass and the wallet over the next two weeks, perhaps in the guise of hidden fees, taxes, or fines that affect any material projects you had simmering. Ex-partners or friends could emerge unexpectedly from the woodwork to demand restitution, and it may not be friendly or justified. On a brighter note, the sign of Sagittarius is exploratory and mutable, so this moon will offer up intriguing new solutions to any issues you encounter despite Saturn’s meddling.
Gemini
You love a flaky, mutable bitch, Gemini, so this free spirit, hot mess lunation shouldn’t feel too uncomfortable for you…though a little discomfort will still apply. Relationships and partners are the area where you’ll feel Luna’s presence most, which means you may feel like everyone in your life is experiencing serious wet blanket syndrome, whether you are partnered or single. (Dating over the next two weeks will also be extra annoying, as prospective partners miss texts, screw-up meeting locations, and generally make connecting a bit fraught.) Jupiter is already in your first house, making you feel extra expansive and a little high on your own ideas, but it might be tough to get anyone to go along with you before mid-December. Also, your ideas could be a bit wacky and overwhelming for others, like trying to host a game night where everyone must be in costume to attend, but all the costumes must be derived from the ‘90’s sitcom Empty Nest, and the losers in each game will be forced to recite the day’s headlines in the form of a song. That is a LOT of crazy information to expect from people, and Mercury in retrograde is already clouding our communication with others. Try not to take this resistance personally; instead, let your desires and plans for connection percolate into something more refined. By the time of the full moon, current or prospective partners will be much more in sync with your chaotic inclinations.
Cancer
Maybe it’s because the holidays are in full swing, or maybe it’s simply the state of the world, but you crabs may feel a deep need to get scheduling and routines in order before the new year. The irritating truth is that a new diet, fitness, or work routine will experience several stutters over the next two weeks, through no fault of your own. For example, Erica in accounting might bring donuts to the office just as you were about to try the Keto diet, and she will be offended if you don’t eat several with her. Or, you will have mapped out the perfect route to bike to work instead of driving, only for construction to begin on the road with a bike path. It’s okay! This is temporary, Cancer, so don’t lose your drive for improving the baseline habits in your life, and please don’t cry. Give yourself some grace and work on smaller things while this moon sorts itself out, because Mercury is also futzing around in your house of routines, and he is definitely going to make your daily travel more cumbersome. Maybe acclimate yourself to the idea of a bike commute by getting up at the time such a thing would require, even if your route is fucked for a bit. Start a new calendar system and map out your ideal daily schedule, even if it’s difficult to implement changes right now. Any new routines will gain traction in a couple of weeks, I promise.
Leo
This moon, the sun, and Mercury are all converging in your fifth house of joy and creativity, Leo, which means you’ll be inclined to expand the scope of art projects, sexy time, and your nuclear family, but the timing may be inopportune. If you have kids, you might get a bug up your ass about taking them on trips and introducing them to new hobbies or sports, as Sagittarius tends encourage joyful physical exertion when he has the moon in his clutches. Your fellow fire sign can also be an enormous klutz, and the presence of Saturn with this moon is flashing warning signs about injuries from overexertion. Do not get on a skateboard after ten years of sedentary office work just because you want to show off in front of your spawn, Leo; this Saturn squared moon might sprain one of your knees just to teach you a lesson. Single, thirsty Lions are probably seeking zesty new bedroom adventures, but like the rest of us will find their fun thwarted, altered, or delayed due to communication challenges. I’m not recommending celibacy for the next two weeks by any stretch of the means, but you will be less frustrated if you relinquish control and expectations of your more, shall we say, zesty social interactions.
Virgo
Home is where your adventurousness lives right now, Virgo. You probably woke up on the morn this past weekend and envisioned an entirely new schematic for your kitchen and dining room area, one that stretches the boundaries of your taste while also being prettier and more space efficient. You’re going to have to marinate on big changes for a little while longer though, as the work may turn out to be more intensive than you imagined. (Plus, if you live with other people, they are going to have thoughts about a new arrangement and will press you to integrate their ideas. Though, yours are better. Obviously.) With your planetary ruler in retrograde, there could be a bit of nostalgia in the mix for a home you used to have, as well as some ambitious revisions. These will be difficult to implement quickly, so don’t start wallpapering the credenza quite yet, as Saturn and Mercury will likely throw wrenches into your timeframe and creative vision. For the more extreme Maidens among you, moving to a new domicile will become very appealing, but disagreements with co-habitants or poorly timed opportunities will delay something as expansive as a relocation. Be patient and stay with the planning process - make a mood board of your ideal nesting area, go to IKEA and get inspired, or collaborate with family or roommates. By January, your living space might have a brand new look.
Libra
For Libra, this Sagittarius moon is urging you to get nosy about your neighbors and immediate community. You might find yourself getting chattier than usual with strangers at your favorite coffee shop, sidling up to interesting looking people at the local watering hole, or introducing your dog to new canine companions when you discover a new route for his walks. Mercury is still retrograde in your third house, however, so local interactions might not go as smoothly as you like this go-round. Normally you can harmonize with anyone, of course, but the combination of a Jupiter-ruled moon with a backwards Mercury could produce a staggering case of word vomit, muddying your message and making everyone think twice about the block party you want to organize. Don’t worry, and don’t go thinking that everyone hates you again! Social signals will be jammed for a bit until the full moon in Gemini loosens everyone’s tongues and attitudes, so take any awkward interactions in stride and keep talking to local acquaintances. Gathering neighbors and building community is about to become extremely important, and no one works a room like Libra.
Scorpio
You are trying to be practical for once, Scorpio, by investigating new methods of creating and/or acquiring financial security, though it will feel like every opportunity falls through. Enthusiasm for building up your wealth or property is all fine and good, but be wary of schemes, false fronts, and scenarios that sound lucrative but will ultimately be a waste of your time. You might also suffer from a bit of executive dysfunction when it comes to honing in on the most realistic, practical path to greater liquidity, because Jupiter and Mercury are both making you scattered and expansive; you may wish you could pursue every single avenue to success at once, but spreading out your efforts will ultimately dilute your rewards. The best course of action will be to pick one lane and press your foot to the gas as hard as you can - it may be gunning for a promotion, monetizing a side hustle, or starting a psychic hotline with your bestie, but you can’t do all of it at once. You have to pick. If you can keep your focus narrow, you may have some prosperity to showcase come January.
Sagittarius
It’s all about you, you hilarious wackos! This lunation is lighting a fire for change and expansion of your personal character, from the shoes on your feet to the hair on your feisty head. You want to take up more space and do something different, but you aren’t quite settled on what that may be (shocker), and you could have difficulty communicating your needs thanks to Mercury. This desire to become a bigger, better you could manifest professionally, aesthetically, or scholastically, but the ultimate aim is to stoke your inner fire to be hotter and higher. This is Sagittarius season on steroids, and your usual wanderlust and thirst for new experiences might strike other people as a bit half-cocked. More than usual, I guess. Your foot-in-mouth syndrome? It’s going into hyperdrive, like inadvertently saying to your aunt Bess, “I don’t think you need an eye lift! It’s awesome that you and your basset hound look related!” Your kinetic energy? Ambulance companies won’t be able to keep up with the amount of injuries you sustain. Charming insanity is familiar territory for Sagittarius, but it’s going to feel very exaggerated and your increased volume might hinder your new, exciting ideas for self-improvement. No matter. Bess will forgive you.
Capricorn
You love a logical, driven approach to straightforward goals, Capricorn, so this month could be very weird for you. This new moon perfected in your twelfth house of dreams, secrets, and the subconscious, and it is coaxing you to take a look at the part of yourself that you rarely have time for, mostly because you think it’s pointless and lazy to dwell on such things. I doubt we’ll find you mooning about in the metaphysical section of the bookstore just yet, but you might become intrigued by a meditative practice of some kind in a bid to master every facet of your tenacious brain. A small seed is being planted in your mind as you realize that by ignoring the more mysterious, unspoken part of yourself, you are handicapping your own glorious potential when it comes to other facets of life; the ones you truly care about, like…work. With Saturn in this lunar mix, the road to spirituality and mind expansion will not be easy, but you LOVE when things are hard and take a ton of work, so you’ll be fine. (He is your ruler, after all.) Unfortunately, dwelling in the twelfth house can also mean illness, depression, weird dreams, and the discovery of unsavory secrets, so make sure you are still taking care of yourself, getting a good nights sleep, and staying out of other people’s heads while you ponder the deeper meaning of your life.
Aquarius
Saturn is already a comfortable presence for the water-bearer, who believes humanity could improve their situation by leaps and bounds if only they would stop fucking around and do everything Aquarius says. A Jupiter-ruled moon likely exaggerated your communal tendencies when it perfected in your eleventh house, so you are officially ON ONE about big picture stuff like geopolitical quandaries, efficient distribution of humanitarian aid, and experimental math. The problems you encounter this month will fell like a stronger version of the problems you encounter every month, which is that no one understands what the fuck you are talking about. Expect a very familiar frustration to course through you as people dismiss your suggestions and go blithely about their business, because Mercury is moonwalking through this part of your life in tandem with the sun and moon. Succinct, persuasive communication will feel elusive for a week or so as you work to gather your thoughts, and it will feel like nobody is receptive to your cause, but don’t despair; January will bring substantial changes to people’s ideas about global well-being, and your desire for large-scale change won’t seem so esoteric or unbelievable by then.
Pisces
This moon kick-started some yearnings and professional goals for you, Pisces, and I know you normally hate that boring shit. This lunation is making things a bit chaotic in your tenth house of public persona and career, however, and you’ll find yourself exploring avenues for professional expansion. It may be that a final straw has landed on your back in a position or workplace that undervalues you, or that certain life events have clarified how much easier things could be with a bigger paycheck; either way, you’ll find yourself speaking up more in meetings, asking for more responsibility, or critically assessing the pros and cons of your annoying boss and co-workers. Mercury playing his reverse Uno card means you can expect setbacks and glitches in your work communication, job search, and daily tasks, making it extremely difficult to gain traction on anything new and remain optimistic. Keep trudging forward and asking for more, even though you hate doing it; January is a totally different landscape.
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2024 has sucked so much ass. Cannot wait for it to end. If 2025 somehow proves to be worse, it may break me.