Triple Aspect Horoscopes For Getting to the Root of Things
Saturn, Venus, Mars, and Pluto are using this month's new moon to cut through the weeds. What we discard and what we keep will be important as we walk a precarious, transformed landscape.
“April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.”
T.S. Eliot
Darkest Before the Dawn. Like, Really Fucking Dark.
“Nothing is stable, everyone hates each other, and it looks like we are all going to be very poor for the foreseeable future", is about the gist of every world headline these days. It might be hard to deny the veracity of such a statement with a quick glance out the window in any burg, town, or city in the United States, wherein we get to watch our neighbors get hauled away by plainclothes men in balaclavas if they are caught speaking Spanish in public, or protesting the murder of many thousands of children, or speaking out against government foreign policy, or having the audacity to hire people who are not white men.
Jarringly, most of us must continue to participate in a social and civil contract that was burnt to a cinder years ago by going to work, paying our taxes, saying thank you to grocery clerks and baristas as we hand over our paychecks for paltry amounts of sustenance, and following the rules of the road as we drive cars - the byproduct of which has likely sealed our demise as a species. If anything, the state of the world has lead us to become disconcertingly blasé in a way we’ve never been before. Upon reflection, this is understandable. Why go through the effort of maliciously rear-ending a dude who cut you off on the freeway and jacking your blood pressure when climate change is going to take him out with the rest of us? May as well live and let live until 2030. (Keep driving like an asshole, Chester - I’ll literally see you in hell.)
The most acutely horrible collective events began when Mars went retrograde at the beginning of September, 2024, and slow-walked backwards through Cancer for an interminable four months, during which we felt sludgy, restricted, and appalled. Like insects trapped in fresh resin, the harder we tried to move and change things, the more fully we secured our stasis, so that by March we stopped altogether save a few low stakes, feel-good moments. In the past month, though, we have felt restraints burning away, first when Neptune entered Mars-ruled Aries, and next when that fiery war god finally left Cancer for assertive, persuasive Leo. Soon, Venus joins the flame brigade herself by ingress into Aries, and when explosive Mars gets cooking, everyone will put passivity to the side.
Now, we are being treated to a new moon in Taurus that brings clarity and rejuvenation to anyone seeking such things, courtesy of a conjunction between Venus and Saturn. This moon is challenging us to do something valuable with our newfound vision, and it is happening alongside a volatile staring contest between Mars and Pluto, infamous creeps of the solar system. This is the third and final conjunction in a dance these guys started on November 4th, continued on January 1st, and will complete this weekend. In case those dates don’t ring a bell, consider that the U.S. presidential election coincided with the first conjunction, and two separate acts of vehicular terrorism in the U.S. occurred on the second. Ego, obsessive beliefs, and rash, violent actions are calling cards of this aspect, which will be felt on a personal level most strongly by the fixed signs of the zodiac. Collective repercussions are anybody’s guess.
The following horoscopes will resonate for the rest of this lunar cycle and take all three of this weekend’s major aspects into account; the Venus/Saturn conjunction in Pisces, Mars/Pluto opposition in Leo/Aquarius, and new moon in Taurus. Some of us will notice more obvious connections than others, but for the most part it will be Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius who feel hardest hit. (Don’t grieve for them, they probably deserve it. They’re kind of the dicks of the zodiac.) Since I am both a cranky and Hellenistic astrologer, you will extract the most pertinent information by according to rising sign, but I have personally noticed relevance with both my rising and my sun sign horoscopes, so read through both to be extra prepared, then take a nap or something. Shit’s intense!
Aries
Spring thus far has felt like a hate crime against you, Aries, and it’s okay to have some feelings about this. This new moon is an opportunity for you to forge a new path of material security, because it’s more important than ever that you feel safe and secure. Get the job, sell your stuff, finance the mortgage, whatever does the trick.
Meanwhile, Venus is walking through your house of secret enemies, dreams, and anxiety with Saturn in tow, so you’re also going to be re-litigating break-ups and other social snafus from the past that have never received full closure, which is likely to leave you irked and a tad neurotic, wondering who, exactly was the asshole. Was it you? Them? Everyone? Doesn’t matter! Letting it go will clear space for a fresh start, and the Taurus moon is supporting you as you strive to build your wealth.
Be aware of friction in your house of children and creativity as Mars glares evilly at Pluto in your house of friends and external relations - you may have to weigh your creative autonomy against someone else’s opinion, so try not to do the Aries thing of punching people with a different perspective. You don’t have to listen to them, necessarily, but you also don’t have to punch them.
Taurus
Something needs to change, you big, soft bull, and I know you hate that, but it’s true. What have you been holding back when it comes to personal growth? Your re-invention could be as mundane as a haircut, or it could be a deeper, ideological transformation, but either way you need to let go of the terror and do it, because stagnation isn’t a good look on anybody.
You may feel prompted by a change in social scene thanks to Venus and Saturn, so allow other people’s group activities to galvanize you. New people offer a valuable fresh perspective, so get off the couch and switch up your approach.
Getting forced to abandon your favorite comfy spot may be a blessing in disguise, because asshole Mars is stirring up shit in your roots and family house and parents could get extra irritating or weird. There may be conflict regarding your job or the kind of work you aspire to, and Pluto is unleashing unsavory, existential vibes in your career house. It will be tempting to blame your childhood for your resistance to change in the professional realm, but try to balance the tension instead of digging in on one position, as is your habit. Maybe you can just pretend to be open and flexible, even if you don’t want to budge, otherwise tempers will flare.
Gemini
It’s shadow work time for you, twins…aren’t you excited? Okay, maybe not, but this moon is prepping you for a reset regarding secrets and fears. Maybe you start that therapy that you’ve been meaning to try, or you keep a dream journal by the bed; anything to take better care of your subconscious. C’mon, Gemini, you love talking to yourself! Instead of muttering under your breath in the corner and scaring the normals, this new moon gives you permission to formalize your internal conversations.
Saturn and Venus have been grilling you about your passions and their connection to your professional aspirations as well. Is this unwillingness to succeed or fail on your lonesome holding you back from greatness, or do you need to entirely reevaluate your career? An intense, martial opposition is revealing tension between your familiar self and your exploratory self, so you might have to decide between confidence and success as a big fish in a little pond versus possible failure as a small fish in an exciting new ocean. There could also be conflict or messiness in your neighborhood that forces you to explore new places, and be sure to watch siblings or sibling-like friendships for friction; they may have a useful new perspective for you to ponder, even when you want to cover their mouths with duct tape.
Cancer
Recent philosophical disappointments could be a hidden gift for you, Cancer, opening doors to a more vibrant social life. This new moon thinks you need to get out of the house and into an unfamiliar public sphere, especially if you’re wrapping up an adventure in education or some form of personal growth. It’s time to test your sea legs and find people who will continue to invigorate you. Don’t do your usual retreat into solitude; you’ll need to forge new social connections to deal with an infernal opposition between things you wish to acquire versus things you must relent to others.
Mars is being a toddler in your second house of personal wealth, so this probably isn’t the time to take financial risks or go on any big shopping sprees. Adding to that irritation is dour Pluto as he sifts through any bad karma and unpaid debts that, up to this point, you have kept shadowy and silent. These two celestial spoil sports are highlighting one issue, really, which is your ideas about the value of labor. Do you consider your labor to be worth more or less than others? Mars is making things combustable wherever you generate wealth, and Pluto is doing kinky stuff with any wealth you inherit from other people’s labor, so, if you find yourself passed over for a raise or your car gets randomly burgled, your crappy luck miiiiight have emanated from a long forgotten delinquent financial or spiritual debt.
Leo
My sincerest apologies Leo; you need to be very careful with your mental and physical safety until June 17th-ish, because the war god Ares is traveling over your house of self; body, mind, and soul. Beware your tendency toward over confidence; it could lead to accidents and conflicts with spouses and partners. Yes, you are fantastic, beautiful, and always right, Leo, but that attitude will not serve you over the next few weeks. You’ll avoid heartache if you can pretend to be humble, and we both know you’ll be pretending, but it’s fine.
Why? Because this Taurus moon is opening up new possibilities in your career, and there will be opportunities to reevaluate what you truly want out of your professional life. If you can continue feigning humility, the sky is the limit for how much you might achieve in the public sphere over the next lunar cycle. Think of the accolades.
Which would be nice, given Venus and Saturn are coming to the end of an eighth house lesson for you, which can mean unexpected loss win the realm of finance, inheritance, or old contracst. Give up what is necessary to get clear of the situation; you’ll feel better and it will allow you to focus on your professional path to fame and glory.
Virgo
Dare to ditch the familiar and explore, Virgo. This new moon is perfect for mind expansion - plan a trip, take a class, maybe clean a different house for a change. Staying aware of your habits and re-evaluating places where you’ve become a bit obsessive is a good idea for this moon, considering the presence of Pluto in your sixth house of responsibilities. You might be taking something to a harmful extreme, or it may simply ruffle the feathers of someone unexpected, because Mars, that angry little shit, is in your twelfth house of hidden enemies and mental health. Much like Scorpio, the feminine domicile of Mars, your maladaptive tendency is to go overboard with obsessions and control.
It’s possible that any hyper fixation you’re experiencing with work and routines would relent with a rejuvenation of your schedule. The Taurus new moon is challenging you to shift focus and explore something totally new, like a class, experience, or location. Something has settled or ended in your house of partnerships, which means you might have more time for solo enrichment. If you feel like adding more stuff to your existence will overwhelm, maybe it’s that you need to broaden the scope of something already in your life. The world is your sparkly oyster, so try to aim higher than your usual Saturday night fun titled, “A New Junk Drawer to Sort.”
Libra
You’re actually in a nice spot for this astrology, Libra. The Taurus new moon is opening up possibilities when it comes to soul contracts, so you might be presented with new business partnerships or pleasant financial surprises from past endeavors like investments or inheritance. You could also find yourself in a position to revamp daily habits and responsibilities, likely in a way that lightens your load and clears space for improvement, even if it’s bittersweet to cut a few tethers.
Friction enters the picture with the red bastard planet in your eleventh house of public interaction, directly opposite Pluto in your fifth house of personal creativity. Perhaps group endeavors are eating away at time that you need for solo hobbies, or you might feel overshadowed by others and yearn to step out on your own with an artistic project. Libra parents might be feeling exhaustion at all the play dates and extended family gatherings on the calendar, longing for un-programmed lounge time with the kiddo. Just take it, already! Send your regrets regarding the next birthday party, skip the next pot luck, and play hooky from music lessons. Do something rare for you, Libra, and spend several days in sweatpants doing absolutely nothing.
Scorpio
Alright you controlling arachnids, here’s the deal; you can’t do everything, be everything, love everyone and protect everyone, it simply isn’t possible. Nor is it possible to live your life on the edgiest edge of extreme emotions, because your mental health will eventually take a hit. You’ve probably been evaluating your personal passions and come to the realization that you need to triage your creativity; certain projects require deeper dedication, which means other projects must fade in to the background for a bit. That’s okay, because this Taurus new moon is asking you to put more effort into building up new relationships and deepening key partnerships, which may require a bit more time and vulnerability on your end. (The horror.)
Unfortunately, the skies also have your wayward, traditional ruler going ham in the house of public persona, opposite your tall, dark, and handsome modern ruler, who is lurking about your house of family and roots. What is this tension, and how long has it been simmering? If it’s been long enough for you to craft entirely different personalities depending on the company, then work and family might soon undergo a jarring clash. The underworld god loves nothing more than to reveal devastating motives, so pay attention to parents, grandparents, and ancestral karma this week, because anything you unearth might be connected to conflicts swirling around your public persona. At the very least, be on the lookout for a shit disturber at work…they have their eye on you. And yes, fucking with you will be one of the dumbest moves of their life, whoever they are.
Sagittarius
We are all hanging on to childhood trauma, even the people who claim they had an uneventful childhood, because existing in this world often sucks balls. With Venus and Saturn about to exit your place of ancestors and memories, you’re positioned well to permanently unload hefty family baggage that shouldn’t have been yours to carry in the first place. Once you feel lighter you’ll be able to take advantage of this new moon and assess your habits and responsibilities, places you can be a bit scattershot in your application of effort. Believe it or not, centaur, daily tasks aren’t meant to torture you, they’re meant to build routines and focus so you can get your shit together.
The need to knuckle down might contribute to friction as Mars stirs up trouble in your ninth house of education, philosophy, and travel; any Sagittarius in the student body might experience academic difficulty, and any planned trips could be delayed, cancelled, or rerouted to disastrous results. Simultaneously, Pluto is forcing an ending or transformation in your third house of local activities and communication, so be cautious with the verbal and written word over the next week or so. Getting real for a moment, I’ve never met a Sagittarius who didn’t need to pre-edit their communication to avoid snafus. Y’all get wacky when you open your mouths in front of other people
Capricorn
Oh dear, Capricorn. The area of life in which you may feel some existential angst is a place you often feel existential angst - the axis between money you make and money you lose, i.e. the axis between your second and eighth houses. See, Mars is lighting fires in your house of debts, both monetary and karmic, opening up the possibility that someone will come in hot claiming that you owe them big. Pluto - chilly, perverse, underworld god extraordinaire - is lurking around the chart area that builds your material security, and he is very good at destroying things we were sure could never be destroyed, like nuclear waste, corporate wealth, and your 401k.
Meanwhile, Venus and Saturn came to an agreement about your daily environment and communications, specifically that parts of them weren’t working and needed to be excised or re-worked, and while both of these aspects are annoying, they also clear the way for fun improvements. The new moon in Taurus is opening up possibilities in your fifth house of joy, and you could find traction doing things that you like purely for their own sake, as opposed to always focusing on an R.O.I. Sit with this moon and ask yourself about hobbies and interests that you’ve neglected. Could that change, and if it did, how might it enrich the wealth you create for yourself?
Aquarius
Pluto is just getting warmed up in your first house, water bearer, but this may be one of his spicier shocks to your sense of self. If you find your ego getting dinged up, it’s probably Mars causing strife with a partner or close friend and creating a landslide of hurt feelings, irritation, and self-doubt. While it’s tempting to blame a bunch of slow moving space orbs for our troubles, the reality is that things only get stirred up when they are stir up-able, so what was simmering for so long in your close relationships when you weren’t paying attention?
The new moon might be leaving a breadcrumb trail for you in this regard by pointing you back to your generational roots and childhood experiences, and I know you hate getting so self-focused and granular, but too bad. Freud was wrong about a lot of things, but the connection between how we are treated in childhood and how we treat ourselves (and those close to us) as adults remains salient and verifiable by other psychology studies. There is no need for self-flagellation or regret, but it might be useful to marinate on your family, spend a little time with siblings, and probe your parents on their impressions of the past. It’s never too late to start unravelling the ball of yarn our ancestors wove into our births.
Your traditional ruler has been hanging out with Venus in your house of creation and acquisition, which might also be coloring recent events involving partners, housing, and money, because, let’s be real, Saturn is a huge bummer. So if something important has become fraught with conflict, it behooves you to reflect on old patterns that you might be unknowingly perpetuating.
Pisces
You got off lighter than the rest of the zodiac with this astrology, gentle fish, in no small part because Pisces expects existential dread to befall them on the daily. Venus is very happy in your first house of self, so her conjunction with Saturn was probably more helpful than harmful. Saturn is great at enforcing boundaries, which you do inconsistently at best, so hopefully you’ve developed stronger guardrails over the last couple of years and will think twice before letting people disregard you.
Pluto is settling into your house of hidden shadows, but you’re usually pretty comfortable there as well, being a natural twelfth house denizen. Any discomfort you experience will be due to Mars flicking his dumb lighter at things like daily routines and responsibilities, which can be an area you’re already prone to neglecting. This predilection for dreaminess over reality might piss off a killjoy in your life , or you might be taking things to an extreme by sinking too far into dissolution and vice, causing conflict and rightly raising red flags.
You can use this new moon as a reset by getting more communicative with the people who worry about you, as well as exploring your local neighborhood and social scene to shake off the doldrums. Even introverts can benefit from brief forays into extroversion, and keeping it close to home will lessen any anxiety you get when you’re around unfamiliar people. Get into the habit of something low stakes, like visiting the library everyday; this will help you build community and prevent you from falling into the kind of black fugue state that you enjoy far too much. Freak.
I love you and your writing - and had a good cackle at those spot-on horoscopes. Brilliant
Good stuff 🤍