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Astro Forecast 3.21.25: Goodbye, Pisces, and Thanks for All the Fucked Up Fish
Aries season 2025 kicks off like the blast of a shotgun, but it wouldn't have been possible had Pisces not provided the ammo.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 3.29.25: Neptune in Aries Is Ready To Party Like It's 1862
Astrological recurrences that echo multiple violent transitions in history are here to teach us a lesson we never seem to learn.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 3.12.25: Eclipse Season is Here and Holy Shit We're Fucked
Oh, were you afraid of eclipses? Mercury stationing retrograde? Oligarchy? Buckle up, Buttercup - because they are all happening.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 4.18.25: Our Planets Illustrate How The Little Things Add Up
Mercury and Mars make small, but important moves this weekend. They are jockeying into position for something far more dramatic, just like us.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 4.9.25: Mercury and Venus Are Also Over This Retrograde Shit
Our connection, communication, and discipline planets are stationing direct in the same place this week; a Pisces Decan that signifies illusions and…
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The Cranky Astrologer
14
Triple Aspect Horoscopes For Getting to the Root of Things
Saturn, Venus, Mars, and Pluto are using this month's new moon to cut through the weeds. What we discard and what we keep will be important as we walk a…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 2.26.25: Pisces Gives Us Blurred Boundaries, Empathy and Optimism Before All Hell Breaks Loose
The sun, moon, Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, and north node are all cooling their heels in Pisces this week. Commence shifting timeframes, inconsistent…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Review 5.26.25: Neptune, Saturn, and Venus Have Been Fucking Shit UP in Aries
Neptune gave voice to the wild violence of our collective subconscious when he entered Aries. Venus gathered victims for it. Saturn will shape it into a…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 6.25.25: A Super Charged New Moon Gets Kind of Fucked By Saturn
Jupiter and the new moon are midwifing a new era in Cancer, the delivery room of the zodiac - but Saturn's involvement means it might not be easy or…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 6.9.25: Hell Week Act I! Wild, Mercurial Gossip Meets Real World Consequence
We've been scrutinizing headlines, challenging narratives, and hearing some absolutely crazy shit. Now, Jupiter and Venus get into signs that will turn…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Tarot Review 5.12.25: Swords and Silence
Last week's tarot cards emphasized air, intellect, and self-reflection during a rare interval of quiet astrology.
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 1.8.25: War God Ares Takes the Reins
Retrograde Mars has just moved back to Cancer, and some things will get worse before they get better. Sorry.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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