Alecto Chaos

Alecto Chaos

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Triple Aspect Horoscopes For Getting to the Root of Things
Saturn, Venus, Mars, and Pluto are using this month's new moon to cut through the weeds. What we discard and what we keep will be important as we walk a…
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The Cranky Astrologer
8
Astro Forecast 4.18.25: Our Planets Illustrate How The Little Things Add Up
Mercury and Mars make small, but important moves this weekend. They are jockeying into position for something far more dramatic, just like us.
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The Cranky Astrologer
19
2:01:10
The Mystical Resistance Episode 15: Seeds Planted and Ideals Lost During the Solar Eclipse
Cranky and SOMETIMES decipher the astrology behind an historic filibuster, the Greenland envy of the U.S.A, and various social panics
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Astro Forecast 3.21.25: Goodbye, Pisces, and Thanks for All the Fucked Up Fish
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37
Astro Forecast 3.29.25: Neptune in Aries Is Ready To Party Like It's 1862
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17
Astro Forecast 3.12.25: Eclipse Season is Here and Holy Shit We're Fucked
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24
Astro Forecast 4.9.25: Mercury and Venus Are Also Over This Retrograde Shit
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14
Astro Forecast 4.18.25: Our Planets Illustrate How The Little Things Add Up
 • The Cranky Astrologer
19
Astro Forecast 2.26.25: Pisces Gives Us Blurred Boundaries, Empathy and Optimism Before All Hell Breaks Loose
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10
Astro Forecast 4.9.25: Mercury and Venus Are Also Over This Retrograde Shit
Our connection, communication, and discipline planets are stationing direct in the same place this week; a Pisces Decan that signifies illusions and…
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The Cranky Astrologer
14
1:17:38
The Mystical Resistance Episode 14: Venus Retrograde + Bodily Autonomy in Peril
The Cranky Astrologer and chaos mage SOMETIMES dissect the results of Venus going retrograde in Aries, sharpening the death and oppression of women and…
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The Cranky Astrologer
1
1:20:30
The Mystical Resistance Episode 13: The Virgo Purging of The U.S. Establishment
In this episode, SOMETIMES and Cranky explore the long-term effects of our lunar eclipse in Virgo on old systems and habits.
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 3.29.25: Neptune in Aries Is Ready To Party Like It's 1862
Astrological recurrences that echo multiple violent transitions in history are here to teach us a lesson we never seem to learn.
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The Cranky Astrologer
17
1:34:28
The Mystical Resistance Episode 12: Eclipse Fun For Everyone
Cranky and SOMETIMES ruminate on the effects of eclipse season, Neptune in Pisces, and the ongoing saga of Elon Musk's delusions.
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 3.21.25: Goodbye, Pisces, and Thanks for All the Fucked Up Fish
Aries season 2025 kicks off like the blast of a shotgun, but it wouldn't have been possible had Pisces not provided the ammo.
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The Cranky Astrologer
37
1:10:58
The Mystical Resistance Episode 11: Venus Retrogrades Suck Ass
In this episode, SOMETIMES and Cranky cover some of the ways we'll hurt under Venus in Aries, as well as the astrology behind Trump and J.D.'s Oval…
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 3.12.25: Eclipse Season is Here and Holy Shit We're Fucked
Oh, were you afraid of eclipses? Mercury stationing retrograde? Oligarchy? Buckle up, Buttercup - because they are all happening.
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The Cranky Astrologer
24
1:35:36
The Mystical Resistance Episode 10: DOGE + Mercury in Pisces = A Whole Lotta Delusion
SOMETIMES and Cranky examine how a confused Mercury is destabilizing communication, even for propagandists and billionaires. (Plus a special appearance…
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The Cranky Astrologer
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Alecto Chaos
Alecto Chaos
Blunt Horoscopes. Foul-Mouthed Tarot. Feminist Rants. Current Events. Witch Shit.
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