Alecto Chaos

Alecto Chaos

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Tarotscope Review 7.21: The Last Splash
The final days of watery Cancer are about to burn in leonine fire, and this week's cards were definitely in on the drama. Secrets. Injustice. And yet…
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Retrograde Malaise: Saturnian Horoscopes for Getting Your Shit Together
Saturn is ushering us out of comfortable Cancer season following his Capricorn moon and station to retrograde, which Mercury will soon join. Their…
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The Cranky Astrologer
5
1:47:36
The Mystical Resistance Episode 21: Neptune, Floods, Mike Johnson, and a Preview of the Future
Catastrophes like deadly floods and deadlier legislation in the United States are reflected in recent outer planet transitions, which means they aren't…
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Astro Forecast 3.21.25: Goodbye, Pisces, and Thanks for All the Fucked Up Fish
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Astro Forecast 3.29.25: Neptune in Aries Is Ready To Party Like It's 1862
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Astro Forecast 3.12.25: Eclipse Season is Here and Holy Shit We're Fucked
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Astro Forecast 4.18.25: Our Planets Illustrate How The Little Things Add Up
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Astro Forecast 4.9.25: Mercury and Venus Are Also Over This Retrograde Shit
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Triple Aspect Horoscopes For Getting to the Root of Things
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Tarotscope 7.3.25: Jupiter and The Moon
Temperance and Sagittarius have a message from Old Redeye; he wants us to pay more attention to our pale and lovely moon.
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The Cranky Astrologer
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1:40:03
The Mystical Resistance Episode 20: Donald, Iran and the Magic of Speech
Cranky and SOMETIMES examine the bombing of Iran by American chucklefucks through the lens of Neptune in Aries. All may not be as it seems.
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 6.25.25: A Super Charged New Moon Gets Kind of Fucked By Saturn
Jupiter and the new moon are midwifing a new era in Cancer, the delivery room of the zodiac - but Saturn's involvement means it might not be easy or…
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The Cranky Astrologer
6
1:09:55
The Mystical Resistance Episode 19: Protests and Protection
Cranky and SOMETIMES break down the astrology for ICE protests and Trump's military parade, in addition to offering sigils of protection from cops, the…
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Forecast 6.9.25: Hell Week Act I! Wild, Mercurial Gossip Meets Real World Consequence
We've been scrutinizing headlines, challenging narratives, and hearing some absolutely crazy shit. Now, Jupiter and Venus get into signs that will turn…
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The Cranky Astrologer
10
1:27:31
The Mystical Resistance Episode 18: Afrikaner Tears, Sean Combs, and the Injustice of Venus in Fall
Miscarriages of justice, social repression, and judicial reckonings are coming to their boiling point as Venus exits her retrograde shadow. SOMETIMES…
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The Cranky Astrologer
Astro Review 5.26.25: Neptune, Saturn, and Venus Have Been Fucking Shit UP in Aries
Neptune gave voice to the wild violence of our collective subconscious when he entered Aries. Venus gathered victims for it. Saturn will shape it into a…
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The Cranky Astrologer
17
1:46:10
The Mystical Resistance Episode 17: Venus In Aries Reflecting Social Injustice
Reproductive panic in the Trump administration, trans panic in the military, and garnished wages for student loans are all reflecting Venus in her fall.
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Tarot Review 5.12.25: Swords and Silence
Last week's tarot cards emphasized air, intellect, and self-reflection during a rare interval of quiet astrology.
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The Cranky Astrologer
Alecto Chaos
Alecto Chaos
Blunt Horoscopes. Foul-Mouthed Tarot. Feminist Rants. Current Events. Witch Shit.
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